


The Dark

by favoredReign



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Reminiscing, i need to stop killing my sons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 11:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15662547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/favoredReign/pseuds/favoredReign
Summary: He hopes the team can forgive him.





	The Dark

He guesses this was always meant to happen.

Lance hadn’t meant to get shot, but it happened before he could react. He didn’t finish his end of the mission and now the team would suffer because of it.

He really is worthless, isn’t he?

When Shiro was back, he knew it should have been Keith back in Red. Lance didn’t have a real place there. Voltron didn’t need him. It should have been he who left, not Keith.

Keith. The red paladin’s face was in his mind now. Lance remembered every detail. The way the violet in his eyes would shine so beautifully in the light and how those eyes would sparkle when Keith was proud or happy. The curves of his cheeks and the way his face caught light so easily, making Lance horribly jealous that Keith could have such beautiful skin so naturally when Lance went through so much skin care. But most of all, he remembered the way Keith’s lips would quirk up into a smile whenever something amused him. That smile lit up the world. Lance wishes he could see that smile again.

Allura came to mind next, including all the times she’d rolled her eyes at his flirting. He really thought he had a chance with her for a while there, but now he couldn’t see her as anything more than the older sister of the group. She had helped him realise how he felt for Keith. He loved both of them, but the type of love was much different. Allura was how he came to realise that.

He really misses Keith.

Lance thought of Shiro, then. Every time Shiro had helped the team. Every time Shiro talked him through anything - his anxiety being the main thing. Apart from that, Shiro got Lance to overcome his insecurities about being a paladin. Lance couldn’t help but look up to Shiro. Shiro was a natural leader. A role model. Someone who became successful and stable in exactly the right amount of time. Shiro was everything Lance used to wish he could be.

Lance knows now he never could have lived up to be like Shiro. He brought everyone down too often. Keith always reassured him when he thought he’d failed them. Right now, though, Lance knew he had. He had to complete his part like everyone else or the mission would fail, the team would fail, Voltron as a whole would fail. It’s all going to fail. And it’s all his fault.

Lance can’t take this. He briefly came back to reality long enough to register the shape he’s in. Blood surrounded him, leaking through his armor the hole in his side. He could taste metal on his tongue and realised he had been coughing up blood before he lost the strength to even cough anymore. The moment didn’t last long before he was pulled back into his mind.

He pictured what Hunk would do when they found him- if they found him. Hunk had been his best friend for years and it hurt knowing he couldn’t even say goodbye. Everything hurt right now.

Pidge would probably be upset, too. She and Hunk had been there for Lance more times than he could remember. They kept him sane at the Garrison. They kept him from jumping out of a window to his imminent death.

He really wished death would come faster. He’s in shock right now, he’s fairly sure, which is why he’s not in horrible pain. It’s also probably why time is passing so slowly even when he wishes it would hurry up. He isn’t too sure, though. He’s no doctor.

His heart hurts when his thoughts come to rest on his family. He couldn’t wait to get back to Earth and see them again, but now? Now that would never happen. Now he’d failed even the people he loved most. He missed them more than anything and now he’ll never see them again.

He’d only ever told Coran about how badly he misses Earth. At times he finds himself regretting that he’d ever found the Lion in the desert. If he hadn’t, he may be home right now, eating dinner with his family on a holiday break from the Garrison. They’d laugh and smile and joke about Lance’s love life, teasing him about flirting with the waitress at the last restaurant they’d visited. They’d ask how he’s doing as a pilot. They’d let him know that no matter what happened, he’d always have somewhere to go.

If he hadn’t found the Lion, though, he’d never have been reconnected with Keith. Keith kept coming back to mind. It’s getting harder to think straight, but those remaining thoughts kept coming back to the red paladin. Red fits Keith so well. The color of passion, of desire, of love, but also the color of anger and fire. It all fits Keith so perfectly. Keith is so perfect. Lance wished he could say so to Keith himself, but it looks like his time is running out.

Lance remembers a few of the fears he used to obsess over when his anxiety got bad. Some were silly things like spiders and his irrational fear of closet monsters until he was 12. But the one he focused on was how he’d always been terrified of dying alone. He still is, but what better way to conquer your fear than to face it?

He really wishes the other paladins were around, though. He wants to thank them for everything. They’d all done so much for him and he feels like he’s done nothing.

He also wants to apologise to them, though. They’ll never know how sorry he is. He didn’t mean to get hurt like this. He didn’t mean to fail so badly.

He didn’t mean to let the team down.

It’s finally happening, Lance notices. The darkness is beginning to close around the edges of his consciousness, dragging him slowly into an abyss he’s been waiting for. Lance is relieved that it’s finally coming.

His last thoughts before he finally succumbs are about his team. He let them down, again. But this time he can’t fix it. He doesn’t deserve it, but he hopes that one day, his friends, his family, will manage to forgive him. He hopes Keith will forgive him. He’ll miss them.


End file.
